April 2012
This is the end
This Tumblr is gonna be dead for the foreseeable future maybe forever. I’m making my start today to get some professional help so i can stop being such a “psycho”. I have an appointment in a few hours and i’m pretty scared. I’ve set up another Tumblr for my thoughts on what’s going on, if you know my name and what’s important to me you’ll find it and...
My thoughts
I’m gonna disappear from tumblr for the time being, I just one to thank the one person out there that’s being paying attention to my thoughts and feelings, knowing a stranger could care about me has helped a lot while I’ve been going through self inflicted mental and emotional tourture.
These blue eyes have never been so blue
I wish I could get my shit together and stop crying
My thoughts
Last night I posted the phrase “goodnight” as I final post before i went bed because, well I’ve hurt somebody very close to me because I fear letting people get close. My defense mechanism kicked in in a big way and to combat the fear of being hurt or rejected, I took charge in the stupidest most infantile manner and was rude and mean to the most important person that’s...
“It’s better to know you’ve lost, than to not know that you’ve...”
– Del Boy’s Dear Old Mum
Goodnight
It’s a horrible feeling knowing that I’ve hurt somebody that’s been so kind to me. Every so often I try to push my friend away because I fear that I’ll be hurt for letting somebody close to me. Today I realised how bad my problems are and I’m going to get help. It’s a shame it took this for me to see
Finally realized I need help today, I just hope and pray that I’ve not already pushed the only good person in my life away.
A new personal best
I keep crying at work, I’m a complete mess. I don’t know what to do, I think I need help
If you're out there
Inbox me, anonymously. Tell me what to do, ask again, be patient or move on. I just need to know
“I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting...”
“Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we...”
– André Dubus (via creatingaquietmind)
I need a significant other in my life. I’m getting bored of having nobody to love.
I wish it would stop
Every few weeks something new crops up. Over thinking is my greatest curse
I think she was right
…
“Poetically infantile”
